So I pretty much hate exercise. Really… really hate it. I will start out great and run for say two weeks and then I’m over it. But for the past month I’ve been going to yoga twice a week and I kind of love it (also if you think yoga is this nice relaxing easy to do zen thing that really won’t get you fit you are so so very mistaken it is one of the most intense workouts I have ever experienced).
With that said though - I have not a clue as to why I’m loving it. It’s pretty much torture, it just happens to be torture that I am paying someone to force me to inflict upon myself. To further my self torture I’m doing ‘Power Vinyasa’ which according to my yoga studio’s website is “An energetic practice that blends sweat, strength and flexibility in a class that throughly tones the body and disciplines the mind. Done in an 85-90 degree room.” I’m from upstate New York… 90 degrees makes me feel like my face is melting off, yet I somehow think it’s a good plan to go twist myself into some ridiculous pose in this 90 degree room that smells like hippies (it’s a totally fake hippie smell they spray about the room before we enter as the class I go to is filled with upper-middle class suburban wives).
To make me even more uncomfortable the Thursday night class has a hands-on class assistant who goes around the room and makes your life suck even more. The first ‘hands-on’ help I got happened when I was in a folded pose (so you can imagine what that looks like) and my ‘hands-on’ help involved the assistants knees around my head while she pulled up on my hips. Another equally awkward time was while I was supposed to be doing some pose that involves balancing on one arm and one leg and making a triangle. Being that I can’t even properly describe the pose should give you an idea of how good I am at performing it so this session of assistance involved her repositioning me and then forcing my spine straight by her essentially spooning me (although if it’s straight would it be a knife…….. I rolled my eyes at myself) and then for some reason - nuzzling her head into my arm. The rest of the assistance at least made sense but the nuzzling.. not so much and actually just made me fall over because I could barely control my laughter. I really don’t know how people do it without laughing, maybe it’s b/c I’m not in it for the religious or the medetation reasons but I just find these things hilarious…. and I didn’t even go into the ‘happy baby’ pose weird sex noises incident.
I guess I shouldn’t really question why I still have the motivation to do this when I haven’t stuck with any other sport/gym activity since 11th grade, but this really is torture. Maybe I really really hate myself and I didn’t even know it.